They gave us Football Made in Germany, we gave them Nyanzi, Kakwenza
According to ramblings on Twitter, exiled novelist Kakwenza Rukirabashaija is an explorer in Germany, but even those who admit to knowing what that exploration is, such as Urn of White Head, have not indicated whether he is a missionary explorer.
As Urn of White Head said so much about Kakwenza, a slew of social media beauties, led by – yes, you guessed it right, women – uploaded his photos to their profiles and defended his right to use his pen on any willing piece of paper and write his story for the global audience.
Now, while I love puns, any such indication in this column is purely accidental. If you ask me – or this man Terrence Howard for that matter – the laws of hydrogen geometry dictate that a pen should only write when held vertically.
Now on to pen and paper, after all everyone uses it – even Maow did when he made things official with the feline the other day.
Long before some charlatans came up with the concept of pay-per-view, our legendary UTV was showing Football Made in Germany. The Transtel production would hit our grainy black-and-white TVs two weeks after Andy Moller, Oliver Kahn and Jay-Jay Okocha played the actual games. But we didn’t care, really.
Football Made in Germany made so many Ugandans growing up at the time fall in love with the European nation of Germany. We found ourselves supporting Die Mannschaft fervently and Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund and Kaiserslautern became family clubs.
And when it wasn’t Football Made in Germany, there was Die Didi Show or Didi’s Comedy. Created by Dieter Hallervorden, this comedy was well worth a barter.
Almost 30 years after the 90s era of Didi comedy and football made in Germany, our turn to return the favor to German entertainment has come and we sent them Stella Nyanzi and Kakwenza. Yes, Football Made in Germany was full of famous footballers and World Cup winners and Didi’s Comedy was award winning.
In return, our own Nyanzi and Kakwenza are also award-winning writers. Unlike what Germany gave us, we actually give them better value for entertainment. Just search Urn of White Head on Twitter and see how his tweets have gone viral. Then look for Nyanzi.
As a nation, we should really be proud that our scholar is showing Germans how to invest in the sex discussion on social media at a time when even Bad Black has taken a step back and Zari isn’t in our face. The labor outsourcing department should take a keen interest in this.
Instead of sending our daughters to the Middle East, we must prepare more Nyanzis and Kakwenzas and send them out of this country upside down armed with Gaga and Freaky data packets to go and make a name for ourselves in the countries outside .
The days when two consenting adults had their passion and we kept quiet should be a thing of the past. In an era of Football Made in Germany and reciprocal Didi’s Comedy, the economy can remit good remittances to the diaspora by promoting a heated discussion about who impregnated whom.
Until we hear that Nyanzi’s acrid tweets are the reason Peruth Chemutai faded to Oregon, or that Maow came out of the closet looking like a mascot, then we should be fine.
The Germans are proud of us, so proud that they might even ask us to send them Maow and anyone who thinks we should indeed forget the famine in Karamoja and the biting commodity prices just to tune our minds to another adult consenting yielding to…